I take to this form of social media because nobody reads it. I’m safe to post whatever I want, and not be criticized. Today sucked terribly. Over and over my mind just rolled. Of course it was about a girl. What else would cause this? Still don’t know what to do. I do know I would do absolutely anything. I can’t stand it. The worse thing is when she asks “what’s wrong?”. Do I tell her? Do I say nothing? Do I try to cover it up? Well I just said I didn’t want to bother her with it. I don’t want to put her through that. No turmoile for her. I needed to deal with it myself. The story goes on forever. One day I think she likes me; after staying up until 3 just texting. No other reason for me to stay up that late. The I think she’s annoyed. When she “falls asleep”. But only to me. She’s wide awake to the rest of the world. Up and ready to skype. That’s one lucky guy. I wish I was that important. But I’m not. I’ll chug along another day. “wanna go to lunch?”. ” I can’t, I’m busy :(“. I think to myself *what a lie. You just don’t want to go. Too afraid to admit it. What I say, “that’s alright, maybe another day…?”. Well I guess it’s time for a subject change. That subject change was just a sign she didn’t really want to. All I want is honesty. Blunt honesty. But for now, just keep on trying to keep me happy. It honestly is cute. Just know that I’m not stupid. I see through the white lies. I wonder daily, “does she know I like her?” “would she think I still do?” “or does she think I just talk to people as much as possible because we’re friends?”. Honestly, none of this is her fault. She should be the best she could be. I’m surprised that there aren’t more guys like me cause of her. Maybe there is. If I told her, the biggest thing I could stress is that it isn’t her fault. Don’t feel bad at all. If you want to do one thing, just be careful of the mixed signals you send. And be bluntly honest with me. I enjoy that. Oh well, I’ll go on hoping for the best. Maybe one day she’ll like me to. My only hope is for the future. Until then, I stay friends, and let her happiness keep me going.